Top Ten Unusual Words from Famous Hymns (Part 2)

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Quote of the Week

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield

Warren Buffett

Bible Verse of the Week

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come

Mark 13:32-33 (NIV)

Whimsical Phrase of the Week

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be

Rita Rudner

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October 2026 Anniversary Celebration

Hmm, has it really been four years since we launched the klugness (pronounced "kloog-ness") site? Why yes, our favorite website turns four years old on October 17, 2026.

As we did last year, we've decided to set aside the entire month of October to celebrate this anniversary achievement. As part of that celebration, we'll be making updates to this home page every day during the month of October (i.e., starting on Thursday, October 1 and running through Saturday, October 31). Please check us out daily during October to get a guided tour down memory lane.

What do we have planned, you ask? One example is that our webmaster has used his knowledge of PHP programming to set up a daily "slide show" of selected funny top ten lists from our first four years of online existence. The grouchy dude programmed it all up front so that the "throwback list of the day" changes automatically each day during October 2026—even if the old fart takes a nap and forgets to update it!

As part of the 4th anniversary update, we've added content published during the last year, and rotated many of the highlighted lists from prior years. So, bookmark our site and check back every day during October for the Throwback List of the Day and other unabashed klugness propaganda.

In celebration of making it to this milestone, we've assembled the following summary of feedback we've received this year from our enthusiastic fan base. Thanks to everyone who submitted comments via our secure WeMadeThisUp app!

Never in the field of humorous content was so much written only to be read by so few.
Winston Churchill

I wish MAD Magazine were still producing new content, but you guys aren't half bad.
Alfred E. Neuman

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ILLEGAL! YOU'D BE IN BIG TROUBLE IF ANYONE HAD EVER HEARD OF THIS SITE. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
DJT

Maybe someday you'll be homeless too?
David Letterman

Who is this grouchy old dude? He's really piqued my curiosity.
Sydney Sweeney

If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist.
Enrico Fermi

Don't listen to Enrico—he's still mad that the neutrino particle he postulated wasn't detected until after his death.
Enrico Fermi's mom

Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Ted Lasso

Ya'll should visit Graceland! I'll leave some guest passes at the visitor center.
Elvis Presley

Son, I've never looked at the website but I'm glad you found something you enjoy. How about a slice of pound cake?
Grandma

Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead.
Epstein's mother's veterinarian

Don't think twice, it's all right.
Bob Dylan

You guys are pretty cool. How'd you like to be Roman citizens? I'll fill out the paperwork right after the Roman Senate session on March 15.
Julius Caesar

Thanks for your support and encouragement of the klugness website!

Top Ten Unusual Words from Famous Hymns—Part 2
Num	Unusual Word	Hymn Title	Excerpt	Lyrics By	Year
10.)	life-gate	To God Be the Glory	...and opened the life-gate so that all may go in	Fanny J. Crosby	1875
9.)	billows	Count Your Blessings	When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed	Johnson Oatman, Jr.	1897
8.)	Calvary	At Calvary	there my burdened soul found liberty, at Calvary	William R. Newell	1895
7.)	fraught	He Leadeth Me	O words with heavenly comfort fraught	Joseph H. Gilmore	1862
6.)	cleft	Rock of Ages	Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee	Augustus Montague Toplady	1776
5.)	bosoms	Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us	With thy love our bosoms fill	Dorothy A. Thrupp	1836
4.)	waft	Jesus Saves!	Waft it on the rolling tide, Jesus saves! Jesus saves!	Priscilla Jane Owens	1882
3.)	manifold	Great Is Thy Faithfulness	Join with all nature in manifold witness	Thomas O. Chisholm	1923
2.)	dross	How Firm a Foundation	I only design thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine	Unclear	1787
1.)	art	How Great Thou Art	How great Thou art	Carl Boberg (orig. Swedish) / Stuart K. Hine	1895 / 1949

Posted September 13, 2026

Previous All Top Ten Lists

This image of "a traditional Christian worship service" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

Commentary

This funny top ten list is the second of two installments that make light of the way many old-time church hymns include outdated words that are no longer in common use. Each of the 10 obscure words shown on the list is accompanied by: the title of a well-known hymn, an excerpt from the hymn's lyrics including the obscure word, the author of the hymn's lyrics, and the year the hymn was written.

This nostalgic look back in time may be a fun exercise for the old-timers among us, but will most likely go over the young-uns' heads. The Gen Z level of interest in this subject is probably on a par with any discussion of automobiles before the advent of power steering or power windows. It's not that they doubt what the old fart is telling them, but moreso that they just don't find it interesting.

In modern Christian churches, the initial portion of a Sunday service generally features praise-and-worship music sung by a praise team that is accompanied by a band. The band usually includes guitar(s), bass guitar, keyboard, and drums. The congregation stands and some parishioners sing along and/or hold a hand up as a gesture of praise to God, but it's more like watching a show than participating in a sing-a-long.

Back in the day, however, the initial portion would have included traditional hymns sung by the congregation using a hymnal stored in the back of the pew in front of the parishioners. The instrumental accompaniment was typically piano and organ. Half the people in the congregation couldn't sing a lick, but our webmaster still has fond memories of these congregational sing-a-longs from the Baptist churches he grew up in. This type of service hasn't completely disappeared, as some modern churches have an early-morning "traditional" service for old farts like Klugmeister, and a later "contemporary" one for younger folks who find hymns about as relevant as black-and-white TVs. Dacht.

Anyhoo, we've generally extracted these examples of unusual words from the more popular hymns. We've generally avoided the low-hanging fruit of words like thou/thee/thine/thy and similar archaic words. We've also avoided gospel hymns associated with Christmas and the birth of Christ because we think of them more as Christmas songs than church hymns.

As for the obscure words, "life-gate" (item 10) is an unusual compound word that conjures the image of a gate into life. "To God Be The Glory" is the second Fanny Crosby hymn that we've included in this two-part series, which is a testament to her prolific output. "Billows" (item 9) made its initial appearance in Part 1 and appears again in the context of "waves" (of smoke or the sea) in yet another hymn ("Count Your Blessings").

"Calvary" (item 8) is sometimes used in hymns to name the location where Jesus was crucified. This name for the location is shown in Luke 23:33 in some English translations of the Bible, including the ubiquitous King James Version; however, many translations of that verse show the place as "The Skull," which is the English translation of the Latin word calvaria. The equivalent "location" verses in the other three gospels (Matthew 27:33, Mark 15:22, John 19:17) list the location of the crucifixion as the place of the skull, or Golgotha in Hebrew, but no mention of Calvary. We've been unable to develop a concise discussion concerning this, so here's an interesting article on the Calvary topic for your reference.

"How Great Thou Art" was written in Swedish ("O Store Gud") in 1885 by Carl Boberg. (Store means "great" but has two syllables in Swedish, so the title has four syllables in both English and Swedish.) The well-known English translation was written by Stuart Hine in 1949 and popularized in Billy Graham's crusades.

Notice to Readers: Klugmeister has recently been out trying to build an online presence for the klugness site on Medium. He recently posted a story on Medium about Has Diet Coke Jumped the Shark?. Klugmeister's stories are normally behind a pay wall on Medium, but that link should get you into the story for free as a "friend" of the klugness site. Check it out!

Welcome to klugness.com!

The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!

This image of "two eight year old boys arguing over who has the biggest tortoise" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 267 - Top Ten Origins of the Trump-Musk Feud.

This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to seven years ago, even though the klugness site itself is four years old. The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.

Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.

Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!

Note that the Trump-themed and Now vs. Then lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., these themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, guess which Trump cabinet member will be fired next, or wonder how much longer the "maybe two weeks, maybe three" war will last.

This image of "an upset 16 year old girl driving down the street" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

Effective October 2026, we've opened up a new theme that's not included on "all top ten lists." During October we'll be publishing at least three lists in the new Dueling Songs theme. This theme involves comparing characteristics (lyrics, themes, music) of two songs in the form of a top ten list. We rolled out our first Dueling Songs list on October 11. We actually wrote it (and the other two lists that we're publishing this month) about five years ago, but we inadvertently left the material percolating on the back burner. Our first comparo involves two angsty songs that were released over 45 years apart. Woah! On October 18 we dropped the second comparo involving a mystery wind instrument. A total of three "Dueling Songs" lists are queued up for publication during the month of October 2026 in celebration of the klugness site's fourth anniversary. The third will be published on October 25, and involves a strange combination of boredom and excitement. Stay tuned!

For general information about klugness.com (including frequently asked questions, privacy policy, how to pronounce "klugness," etc.), use the following link: About.

If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out a few samples of recent top ten lists:

If you spot anything amiss with the klugness site (formatting, content, functionality, etc.) or have other feedback, please drop us a note at helloKitty. We appreciate your input.

Thanks for visiting klugness.com, and please check back periodically for new content!

Throwback List of the Day

About the Throwback

As part of our celebration of the fourth anniversary of the launch of the klugness website (October 17, 2026), we are highlighting selected funny top ten lists from among the 200+ lists that we've published to date.

Each day during October we will display a different top ten list as the Throwback List of the Day. (The list changes at midnight New York time.) We believe these lists are representative of the breadth of our work and are better than our average list, but your mileage may vary.

The throwback list will appear each day in this section, immediately underneath the current top ten list on our home page.

Note that some of these throwback lists were written prior to the date the site was launched (i.e., prior to October 17, 2022, and as far back as 2019). We've generally included content from throughout our history.

If you feel we've excluded a list that you think is particularly good, please drop us a note so that we can take into account your feedback when we develop next year's anniversary celebration lists.

Please celebrate the klugness site's anniversary with us by visiting this home page each day during October to view the Throwback List of the Day.

Today's Throwback List: List 156
Date Written: 05/17/2023

Top Ten Gilligan's Island vs. Donald's Island—Part 1
Num	Gilligan's Island	Donald's Island
10.)	The lagoon	The Strait of Hormuz
9.)	Difficulty getting along with fellow castaways	Difficulty getting along with fellow humans
8.)	Ginger	Melania
7.)	Headhunters	Radical left Democrats
6.)	Overhearing a conversation and misinterpreting it	Ezekiel 25:17
5.)	A shipwrecked S.S. Minnow	A shipwrecked U.S. economy
4.)	The radio	Truth Social
3.)	Coconut cream pies	2020 election lies
2.)	Skipper yelling "Gilligan!"	Pete Hegseth yelling "Kapow!"
1.)	dream sequences	dozing off

This image of "Trump administration characters dressed up as characters from Gilligan's Island" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

Throwback lists have been selected for special treatment based on subjective considerations, including wingspan, hair color, and shoe size. Viewers may form their own opinions on whether the selected lists are of higher quality than the lists that were not selected for special treatment. In particular, viewers may adopt alternative points of view such as: (1) they all suck, (2) who cares?, and (3) meh. Selected lists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this network, Elon Musk, or your mama. Blah blah blah express written permission yada yada yada professional driver on closed course lorem ipsum dolor investments may lose value. Note that the throwback list shown above is an excerpt that does not include the "Commentary" box—to view the entire original page, use the pressable links in the table below.

In case you missed it...
Date	Throwback List of the Day (Pressable Link)
October 1, 2026	List 156—Top Ten Satirical Responses to Frustrating Events—Then vs. Now
October 2, 2026	List 98—Top Ten Worst Microbrews (Satirical)
October 3, 2026	List 206—Top Ten Presidential Priorities of Dr. Seuss
October 4, 2026	List 7—Top Ten Trumpified Latin Phrases
October 5, 2026	List 150—Top Ten Artificial Intelligence Pickup Lines (Part 1)
October 6, 2026	List 236—Top Ten Keebler Elves OR Pete Hegseth
October 7, 2026	List 218—Top Ten Rejected Chick-fil-A Advertising Slogans
October 8, 2026	List 168—Top Ten Dueling Billionaires
October 9, 2026	List 214—Top Ten Things We Can Learn from Beastie Boys Songs (Part 1)
October 10, 2026	List 15—Top Ten Real or Imaginary Afflictions
October 11, 2026	List 75—Top Ten Satirical Questions on Kim Kardashian's Baby Bar Exam
October 12, 2026	List 174—Top Ten Responses of Trump NFT Superheroes to his August 3, 2023 Arraignment
October 13, 2026	List 104—Top Ten Differences Between the European Model and the American Model
October 14, 2026	List 199—Top Ten Alina Habba vs. Haley Dunphy
October 15, 2026	List 108—Top Ten Satirical Examples of Misinformation vs. Disinformation
October 16, 2026	List 227—Top Ten Baby Names Generated by Mock Elon Musk Software (Part 2)
October 17, 2026	List 165—Top Ten Gollum vs. Donald Trump
October 18, 2026	List 285—Top Ten Gilligan's Island vs. Donald's Island (Part 1)

Top Ten Unusual Words from Famous Hymns—Part 2

Top Ten Gilligan's Island vs. Donald's Island—Part 1

In case you missed it...