| Num | Joe Biden | Donald Trump | Bugs Bunny |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Accidentally referred to French President Emmanuel Macron as "Mitterand" | Accidentally referred to Melania as "Mercedes" | Deliberately referred to himself as "Figaro" |
| 9.) | Mistakenly read instructions from his teleprompter aloud ("end of quote, repeat the line") | Insisted he never uses teleprompters | Knighted the Sheriff of Nottingham with the phrase, "Arise, Sir Loin of Beef" |
| 8.) | Tripped over a sandbag on stage at the Air Force Academy graduation | This item intentionally left blank | Mesmerized Elmer Fudd while dolled up as attractive Valkyrie Brünnhilde from a Wagnerian opera |
| 7.) | Appeared unsure how to leave the stage during public events | Appeared unsure where to go/walk during a welcome event with Japan's prime minister | Appeared unsure whether it was duck hunting season or rabbit hunting season |
| 6.) | Confused the President of Egypt with the President of Mexico | Claimed he ended the war between Azerbaijan and Albania (he meant Armenia) | Stopped Marvin the Martian from blowing up the earth |
| 5.) | Fell off a bicycle | This item intentionally left blank | Conducted an orchestra with his ears |
| 4.) | Appeared to freeze as others danced to a gospel song at a Juneteenth event at the White House | Swayed to music for almost 40 minutes during a town hall meeting that was interrupted by medical emergencies | Rubbed hair tonic into Elmer Fudd's bald head to the tune of Gioachino Rossini's The Barber of Seville |
| 3.) | Tripped on the steps to Air Force One | Tripped on the steps to Air Force One | Filled in the Grand Canyon |
| 2.) | Walked slowly and stiffly due to spinal arthritis | Struggled to walk a straight line due to...er, bone spurs?? | Turned off Niagara Falls |
| 1.) | Aides considered the possibility of putting him in a wheelchair if elected to a second term | Cabinet members considered the possibility of praising him obsequiously if the day ever ends in the letter "y" | Sawed off the state of Florida |
Posted December 17, 2025
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