| Num | Gilligan's Island | Donald's Island | Episode Cite |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Skipper thinks voodoo may be behind the supply hut getting raided | President Trump thinks voodoo may be behind his terrible poll numbers | S1.E3: Voodoo Something to Me |
| 9.) | A gorilla finds a stash of WW II weapons in a cave. Gilligan teaches the gorilla to throw the grenades into the lagoon, where their explosions merely cause splashing | Pete Hegseth makes cool “kapow” explosion sounds during the daily “blowing things up” Iran video briefings that he regularly shows the president to convince him the war is going grrreat! | S2.E22: Forward March |
| 8.) | After seeing the castaways coated with feathers, scientists believe they've discovered a race of chicken people on Mars | After seeing President Trump cut in front of Queen Camilla, scientists believe they've discovered a race of crass jerks from Queens | S2.E4: Smile, You're on Mars Camera |
| 7.) | The glue Gilligan discovered turns out not to be permanent, and the repaired SS Minnow falls apart when Skipper bumps it | The war President Trump started turns out to be permanent, and the U.S. economy falls into a recession once Trump finishes taking a dump on it | S1.E8: Goodbye, Island |
| 6.) | Gilligan befriends a lion by pulling a thorn from its paw, but later suspects that the lion ate Skipper | President Trump befriends a dictator by pulling a thorn from its paw, but later suspects that the dictator ate Marco Rubio | S2.E24: Feed the Kitty |
| 5.) | Gilligan’s drumbeats are mistaken as a declaration of war by a tribe on another island | James Comey’s "86 47" seashells are labeled as a threat by a vindictive five-year-old in the White House | S1.E26: Music Hath Charms |
| 4.) | The radio says Howell Industries has collapsed, and the Howells are broke. But then the castaways hear on the radio that it was Powell Industries that collapsed | Pete Hegseth references Ezekiel 25:17 | S2.E8: Agonized Labor |
| 3.) | Insert plot involving quicksand here | Insert plot involving grift here | N/A |
| 2.) | Gilligan discovers a crate of radioactive vegetable seeds that give the castaways unusual abilities. The Professor cures them by feeding them plant-based soap | President Trump discovers a crate of radioactive vegetable seeds that give him unusual cognitive abilities. Alas, Elon Musk is unable to find a cure | S3.E3: Pass the Vegetables, Please |
| 1.) | The castaways put on a musical production of Hamlet | President Trump takes over the Kennedy Center and hires Don Jr., Kid Rock, and Lara Trump to put on a musical production of Hamlet | S3.E4: The Producer |
Posted May 17, 2026
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