Commentary
Operation Epic Fury sounds like it was named by either: (1) Pete Hegseth, or (2) Colin Jost doing an imitation of Pete Hegseth.
The name Epic Fury conjures images of Pete Hegseth doing pushups, criticizing overweight troops, or sparring with the media. Can't you picture Hegseth confidently saying "epic fury" into a microphone? He lives for stuff like that.
Ok, yeah, it makes sense that the Secretary of War would generally be responsible for selecting names for military operations. It's also plausible that Trump may allow that in spite of his natural tendency to be a micromanager. Our point (if there is one) is that we'd probably be able to tell if Trump was picking the names, because he'd probably pick names like Victorious Conquest or Thor's Thing if he were in charge.
Anyway, we thought it would be fun to invent some alternative names for the U.S. military operation to bomb Iran. Themes we included in this silly list of alternative names are:
the likelihood that Trump got us into this war solely to deflect attention from the Epstein Files
the fact that it's (unfortunately) working just the way he planned
how this war is the complete opposite of what he campaigned on
how he supposedly completely obliterated Iran's nuclear capabilities with his bunker busters a few months back
how getting us into a new conflict in the Middle East has angered Trump's MAGA supporters
a funny riff on Marco Rubio's explanation for the attack (item 2)
We've used the "shiny penny" image before but we thought it'd be fun to trot it out once again. Enjoy!
Oh, as long as we have your attention: we apologize for the recent slowdown in the frequency of our new posts. You see, Klugmeister has recently been out trying to build an online presence for the klugness site on Medium. His latest Medium story is Donald Trump Introduces Tremendous New Ice Cream Flavors . That's one of a handful of stories he's recently written on Doctor Funny , a humor publication on Medium.
Like most of the other writers on Medium, Klugmeister posts behind a paywall so you won't generally be able to read all his stories unless you join Medium, but you should be able to access the ice cream story using the "friends" link that Klugmeister included above.
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