Top Ten Marco Rubio's Handwritten Notes to Donald Trump

Here's your Sharpie, sir
Sorry about that time I said your hands were small
You're my best friend but don't tell Pete coz he'll get mad
Sir—if there's a government shutdown, you can blame it on me :)
I swear I didn't tell anyone that you like Karoline
JD's a total dork—just sayin'. Can I be president after you?
Write back and fold this into a tiny square so no one sees
Please don't read this note aloud. Kristi won't stop picking on me
Meet me by the water fountain after 4th period. It's important
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Posted February 1, 2026

Commentary

This top ten list is a funny riff on a handwritten note that Marco Rubio passed to Donald Trump during a January 9 meeting with oil company executives at the White House. Attempting to be subtle, Rubio suggested that Trump call on the Chevron CEO, who wanted to discuss something.

Alas, Trump read the private note aloud. Awkward!

So, we thought it would be fun to dream up some other handwritten notes that Rubio might pass to Trump during meetings. Themes for the notes include the embarrassing sucking-up behavior that is rife at Trump's televised cabinet meetings, Rubio's desire to curry Trump's favor, black Sharpies, etc. We also mixed in various silly missives that might be passed back and forth by middle schoolers. You may not think that's funny, but we do.

Hmm, we may be gaining accidental insights into the klugness site's low traffic statistics. We'll ask our VP of Marketing and Data Science to look into that, lol.

Oh, as long as we're muttering out loud: we apologize for the recent slowdown in our post-rate. You see, Klugmeister has recently been out trying to build an online presence on Medium. His latest effort is AI Pickup Lines That Inspire. That's one of a handful of stories he's recently written on Doctor Funny, a humor publication on Medium. Note most of the writers on Medium post behind a paywall so you won't be able to read unless you join Medium. Even so, you should be able to access the AI pickup line story using the "friends" link that I included above.

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This image of "fake note from Marco Rubio to Donald Trump" was created by Klugmeister.