Top Ten Origins of the Trump-Musk Feud

Having lost interest in the electric Razor MX350 Dirt Rocket that Musk gave him, Trump heartlessly sells it to his schoolmate Logan, and replaces the electric mini-bike with a brand new Coleman CT200U
A bitter dispute over who gets to sit next to the window on Air Force One
Musk jealous that Trump seems to be more popular at sleepaway camp with schoolmates Liam and Noah, leaving Musk to hang out with Oliver and Jacob
Trump brags that his tortoise is bigger; both parties post angrily about it on the school bulletin board; Trump threatens to defund the Math Club's charter, and Musk threatens to publish an exposé in the school newspaper alleging that Trump snuck into the supply room with his English teacher Mrs. Robinson
Musk upset that Trump tries to talk to Charlotte after Musk confidentially shares with Trump that he thinks Charlotte is cute
Trump is irked that Musk says his "big, beautiful bill" has a "great personality"
A heated dispute over whether pink/red Starbursts or chocolate croissants are the best snacks; during the fuss, Musk awkwardly deploys the the old schoolyard barb "I know you are but what am I?"
Musk distraught that Trump doesn't come to his defense when Mason calls him a dork and punches him in the face
Musk tells everyone in Ms. Hanrahan's class that Trump held hands with Olivia
Trump tells everyone in Ms. Boyce's class that Musk has been sniffing glue

Posted June 10, 2025

Commentary

Everyone in the whole world saw this development coming a mile away. We all knew there wasn't enough room in the spotlight for both President Trump and Elon Musk. The amazing thing is that the bromance lasted as long as it did.

The creative team here at klugness decided to make light of the situation by likening it to a dispute between a couple of eight-year-old boys. To help create a convincing façade of an ecosystem of eight-year-olds, we took to the internet and pulled several popular baby names from 2017. That information enabled us to invent some plausible fellow classmates of these wannabe eight-year-olds, Donald and Elon. One of the challenges of this approach is that many of the most popular baby names of 2017 are still popular today, so invoking "Liam" and "Noah" doesn't necessarily strike a unique "they're 8 years old" chord, but what the hey. The names we selected were among the top ten names of 2017 according to babynamestats.com, which relies on the Social Security Administration as a source. Another klugness top ten list where we relied on names from a specific year is Top Ten Pet Peeves of Little Mermaid (List 160). Ah, memories...

To bring our "spat between eight year old boys" theme to life, we included fights over toys, who gets to sit where, popularity, bragging rights, girls, favorite snacks, not having each other's backs, and snark/betrayal. For fun we threw in a snarky reference to Musk's lack of support for Trump's "big, beautiful bill."

This image of "two eight year old boys arguing over a mini bike" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

This image of "two eight year old boys arguing over who has the biggest tortoise" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.