Top Ten Signs that You Might Be a Snowflake

You get all crybaby over an escalator malfunction
You break down in tears when an illegal immigrant doesn't receive hugs, kisses, and free health care upon entry to the U.S.
You cancel an imminent visit to an American military cemetery in France because your hair might get wet
You melt down if a work colleague passes you in the hall and doesn't say hello
You complain constantly that you're being treated unfairly
You can't handle being locked in a warm greenhouse by Professor Hinkle—even considering that you had your friend Karen there with you!
You require a sickening level of sycophantic praise from your department heads during staff meetings
You believe you're special
You sic the DOJ on your enemies (e.g., James Comey and other radical left Democrats)
You're unable to withstand being brutally mocked by late-night comedians each and every night, but even so you pretend that your opposition is based on low ratings

Posted October 3, 2025

Commentary

Yeah, we probably should have titled this list "Top Ten Signs Donald Trump Might Be a Snowflake," but we kept it generic since a few of the wisecracks (items 9, 7, 5, and 2) aren't based on President Trump.

The inspiration for this funny top ten list is the latest kerfuffle over the stopped escalator at the U.N. building on September 23, 2025. Items 4, 2, and 1 are also based on recent news items. Item 8 harkens back to Trump's rumored reason for not attending a 2018 event marking the end of World War I (which of course Trump denies), while item 6 is fairly timeless.

Item 9 is inspired by Democrats, item 7 is a joke about thin-skinned members of younger generations, and item 2 is the prototypical definition of the pejorative term "snowflake." (It seems to have originally referred to someone who thinks they're special or unique—because no two snowflakes are alike—while we think the more compelling concept is someone who's liable to melt.) Item 5 is a heartless spoof of a tragic scene from the Christmas show "Frosty the Snowman." Mean—aren't we?

Isn't it odd how supporters and detractors of President Trump view him soooo differently? His supporters see him as strong and manly, while his detractors see him as a whiner who's always complaining about how badly he's treated (item 6), and whose heart's desire is to be smothered with sugar-coated praise (item 6). It's embarrassing!

This image of "a snowflake saying 'I'm special' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.