| Num | Keebler Elves | Pete Hegseth |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Passionate about baking cookies | Passionate about drinking |
| 9.) | Live in a hollow tree | Has a hollow leg |
| 8.) | Unfortunately, squirrels sometimes try to find a way into the tree factory | Unfortunately, other women sometimes try to find a way into his marriages |
| 7.) | Breath smells of fudge | Breath smells of alcohol |
| 6.) | Occasionally confused with leprecauns | Occasionally confused with Matt Gaetz |
| 5.) | They market Fudge Stripes | He frequents strip clubs |
| 4.) | Generous and modest | Can't recall |
| 3.) | Occasionally they get into scraps with the Chips Ahoy "Cookie Guy" | Occasionally he gets disqualified from ax-throwing competitions |
| 2.) | On their third layer of fudge | On his third marriage |
| 1.) | High achievers | High blood alcohol level |
Posted December 8, 2024
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